Contemplate what you would do if faced with the following highly likely life scenarios…?
You sit next to a guy on the bus reading “The Help” who looks exactly like Stanley Tucci.
Justin Bieber covers “Like a Rolling Stone” in front of Bob Dylan after saying that he could “really relate to it.”
Someone who doesn’t understand how to use air quotes. And is really set in his ways.
“No way, Bro! I board too!” (Referring to boogie boarding)
Job Requirements: minimal 1-2 years answering phones
“Definitely send the text in literally all lowercase letters, girl…you have to play hard to get.”
The size of Russia
Job description: “Urdu/Pashto proficiency preferred.”
A hipster shouting, “Oh my god, I LOVE this song!”
You watch a really pretty sunset (and you’re also pretty drunk).
“Little known fact: The song Teenage Wasteland is actually Baba O’Reilly.”
“My specialty is Cloud Computing.” (That’s right, in Capital C’s)
A song plays on your ipod by a Jewish Rapper from Canada who made his acting debut on Degrassi.
What in the world do you do when faced with one of these larger-than life moments?
The answer is Jotly.
Well, actually no, the answer to the last one is actually a person- a rapper actually…named Drake. But hey, with Jotly, not even rappers are off-limits (although I wouldn’t suggest rating Jay-Z an F…not even DJ Danger Mouse could get away a shenanigan like that).
Meet Jotly, an iPhone application that allows you to, FINALLY, rate everything. Literally, everything. Brought to you by Firespotter Labs, the same crew who brought you Nosh, it is now available for download here.
Even your dad is going to be stoked about Jotly. Why is that?
Because that epic shot he hit on the 16th hole just became a lot more epic. After doing the best Tiger fist-pump of his life- your dad finds his phone amongst the used tees in his pocket and Jots his beautiful shot (A+).
Despite the fact he’s playing alone and Jim Nance (unrated as a person; hair : A+) is not around to provide commentary- the greater Orlando area (D-), no wait, the WORLD (A) - knows about it in minutes.
When he walks into the clubhouse, Ty Webb (R, but confusing because his avatar is Rodney Dangerfield) hands him a Gin + Tonic (A+. Always). Your papa thinks to himself, “These are the days.”
Thank you, Jotly.
I guess technology DOES belong on the golf course, Sorry SkyMall (C+)
So in conclusion (did you ever think the end of this post was going to come?), those unexpected moments of pure glee, dismay or hatred (hipsters, see satire; irony) now have a platform: Jotly. That European tourist in capris is no longer arbitrary. Jot it. There are no limits.
It could make someone’s day. Or night. Depending on how far the Jotter is from Nerd Central, USA (see map).
Yeah, Russia definitely get’s an…